And yet, when I feel I'm completely at my breaking point, God reminds me how present He is my life and how much He blesses me each and every day. It makes me ashamed that I could ever forget how much He loves me and guides me and blesses my life. I just feel like I have found a best friend in the holy ghost and it overwhelms me with joy and fear and curiosity and sheer ecstasy. And so it shames me to realize how lucky I am to be at an incredible university studying what I want to study and being able to speak freely and live comfortably and know what it is to love and be loved. I have miraculously been spared from wildfires in southern California and dissent in the Middle East and even catastrophe as close as Fat City. I have no clue why God has spared me from these tragedies; all I can rely on is my knowledge of His plan for me and hope that I am fulfilling my duties to Him as best I can. I'm not perfect, and He loves me anyway... It is a feeling of ecstacy unable to be described. I hope I never lose it.
22 days until Thanksgiving break... I can't wait to see Mama and Papa and Lacey! And of course mom and dad and Jen and Rubes... Jen is coming to visit on Friday until Sunday... Saturday I have our campus-wide community service day, but it should end by 1:30 and knowing Jen she will just be waking up, so hopefully we can spend some time together. I am adjusting quite well nowadays, but I still constantly wish for small reminders of home.
Anyways, I am back on the prowl. You know me, the hopeless romantic... I love love, and I am trying very, VERY hard to move on from past experiences and find something new and more... appropriate for the person I am today. No more settling - it's time to find someone I've dreamt of. Wish me luck!
Some pictures from this weekend (I promise I don't wear the corset normally, but we celebrated Halloween on Saturday night with some new friends)
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