Thus ends week 2 of my whole... college experience. I'll be honest, it's getting easier. There are still times when I REALLY wish I was home... I miss my parents, my dog, Sarah, Matt... I REALLY miss Woo & Ms. Williams, too... It sucks because they have been such role models and leading figures in my life, and it's like... I'm trying to find those qualities in my professors now, but so far, I'm having to be my own role model. Woo sent me a very nice email though: (in terms to me telling him I missed theatre a little bit...) "I will not say I told you so, because that would not be true. Yes you may miss it, but that does not mean that this is the direction God wants you to go. As you read all of that Philosophy, take time to read your bible, and work on focusing on what he might want you to do as you read.
I know that you you have had a rough start, but my words of wisdom to you are that it takes a stronger person to make the tough decesions and keep their personal and spiritual integrity intact even when others can't, won't. In the long run it will let others know that you can make the tough decesions and you have a greater faith, confidence, and discipline to achieve your goals. Keep your focus and have fun, in the way you kno how to and those people who do the same will find you."
It makes it easier knowing that the people who mean the most to me still love me and miss me... I think maybe a little bit deep down, I worried that if I wasn't around, people would stop loving me. I have 20 days left until I go home to Katy for the weekend... I think I can handle that. I realllllly do miss my family though... and my bed... see, Alyssa sometimes leaves her lamp on at night and so I have invested in one of those sleeping masks... but still. I look forward to being able to go to bed without putting a mask on. I also REALLY look forward to seeing my puppppppy. In my acting class, we did an exercise where we walked around and created our own environment based on different senses... for example, he told us to think of a smell, and I thought of this one time when mom cut a gardenia from the sideyard by the drive way and let Jen & me smell it one morning when we were on the couch. Then he took out his keys and jingled them... and alllll I could think about was the way Rubes' collar sounds when she's running around. I told mom it is still bizarre to me to pick up my keys to leave and NOT have her barking and nipping at my heels.
I also really miss Matt. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we've had our past and our histories, but... you know what. I am in love, and I am tired of pretending I'm not. We got back together. I see in Matt the person I want to marry, and I think that if we can take all that we have done to one another in stride and get past it... well, I don't think I'll find many people in my life who will deal with me so well. :) But, it sucks we waited until now to decide all of this, because I miss him like crazy. I miss Jen, too... Jeez. Lots of missing going on. Of course I miss Sarah like CRAZY... I think she is the best friend I've ever had / ever will have. We just understand each other SOO well. I miss Chels a lot too, it seems like she is SOO far away. I have been talking to Christy more than anyone from home, which is nice... I miss us being close.
Anyway. Tomorrow morning Brittany and I are going shopping, and... GASP... yes, people, I might go out tomorrow night. It is lady's night at Friar Tucks (a college bar pretty close by), and so... I might brave the stupidity that is drunk college freshman and show my face in public. We'll have to see... Anyway. Love!
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